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I’ve been happily married for 28 years, and together my wife and I have a son and a daughter. In 2011, everything changed. My wife became severely ill and was hospitalized. When she was finally released, she couldn’t walk and was mostly confined to a wheelchair or bed, needing almost constant care. In an instant, our lives were turned upside down. Our kids were 9 and 6, and I had been traveling a lot for work. I quickly shifted my schedule to be home more, taking on the role of caregiver for both my wife and our young children.
About a year later, I took a leap and started my own business so I could work more flexibly from home. But just as things were starting to settle, I was betrayed by my business partners, which led me to start a new venture—this time, on my own. While navigating this new business, I continued to care for my family. For a brief period, my wife’s health seemed to improve, but then we faced more loss. Her father passed away, and not long after, my own father—who had been battling illness since I was a child—passed away as well. Both losses were gut-wrenching, and we were devastated by each of them.
Soon after, my wife’s condition worsened again. She was hospitalized for a second time, and I found myself managing my business remotely from her hospital room for almost six months. During this time, she was diagnosed with two rare cancers and several autoimmune diseases.
While all of this was unfolding, our family was dealt yet another blow. My mother-in-law, in an attempt to manipulate and control, began spreading lies about us to our church and community, trying to tear our family apart and take custody of our children. Her efforts failed, but the damage she caused was deep. The true character of many people around us—especially extended family—was revealed in some very ugly ways. It was a painful betrayal, but through it, we grew closer as a family. The four of us—my wife, our kids, and I—clung to each other during that time, and our bond only strengthened.
Then, two years later, I discovered that my own mother had been living a double life as a con artist, and I had to face even more betrayal from my side of the family.
Through all of this, my wife’s health took a miraculous turn for the better. Though she’s still not cured, she’s now healthier and living life again. She has since become a Certified Trauma Informed Narcissistic Abuse Specialist and Somatic Trauma Informed Coach. Our kids are adults now, and despite everything we’ve been through, I’m grateful that the trials we faced brought us closer together instead of tearing us apart.
Unfortunately, we’re now estranged from family on both sides. This isn’t out of bitterness or a lack of forgiveness; it’s because we came to a painful realization: both of us were scapegoated in our families for most of our lives. Over time, we uncovered the truth about the toxic dynamics that had been in play for so long—my wife and I both had mothers who were malignant, covert, spiritual narcissists. Many of our extended family members are either directly like them or have been severely affected by them, making it unsafe to have a relationship with any of them. As a result, we made the difficult decision to enforce strict boundaries to protect our family’s well-being.
Throughout all of this, I’ve leaned on my faith. Jesus Christ has been the source of healing and lasting peace in my life. It wasn’t an overnight transformation—it was a process. I had to get my mind and heart in the right place and make conscious decisions about how I spent my time and energy. Gradually, I found peace, not just as a temporary escape, but as something I could cultivate in my daily life. Over time, peace became my norm, and interruptions to that peace became the exception. When it was shaken, I learned how to restore it quickly, and I’ve been able to hold on to that peace more consistently.
I’ve been happily married for 28 years, and together my wife and I have a son and a daughter. In 2011, everything changed. My wife became severely ill and was hospitalized. When she was finally released, she couldn’t walk and was mostly confined to a wheelchair or bed, needing almost constant care. In an instant, our lives were turned upside down. Our kids were 9 and 6, and I had been traveling a lot for work. I quickly shifted my schedule to be home more, taking on the role of caregiver for both my wife and our young children.
About a year later, I took a leap and started my own business so I could work more flexibly from home. But just as things were starting to settle, I was betrayed by my business partners, which led me to start a new venture—this time, on my own. While navigating this new business, I continued to care for my family. For a brief period, my wife’s health seemed to improve, but then we faced more loss. Her father passed away, and not long after, my own father—who had been battling illness since I was a child—passed away as well. Both losses were gut-wrenching, and we were devastated by each of them.
Soon after, my wife’s condition worsened again. She was hospitalized for a second time, and I found myself managing my business remotely from her hospital room for almost six months. During this time, she was diagnosed with two rare cancers and several autoimmune diseases.
While all of this was unfolding, our family was dealt yet another blow. My mother-in-law, in an attempt to manipulate and control, began spreading lies about us to our church and community, trying to tear our family apart and take custody of our children. Her efforts failed, but the damage she caused was deep. The true character of many people around us—especially extended family—was revealed in some very ugly ways. It was a painful betrayal, but through it, we grew closer as a family. The four of us—my wife, our kids, and I—clung to each other during that time, and our bond only strengthened.
Then, two years later, I discovered that my own mother had been living a double life as a con artist, and I had to face even more betrayal from my side of the family.
Through all of this, my wife’s health took a miraculous turn for the better. Though she’s still not cured, she’s now healthier and living life again. She has since become a Certified Trauma Informed Narcissistic Abuse Specialist and Somatic Trauma Informed Coach. Our kids are adults now, and despite everything we’ve been through, I’m grateful that the trials we faced brought us closer together instead of tearing us apart.
Unfortunately, we’re now estranged from family on both sides. This isn’t out of bitterness or a lack of forgiveness; it’s because we came to a painful realization: both of us were scapegoated in our families for most of our lives. Over time, we uncovered the truth about the toxic dynamics that had been in play for so long—my wife and I both had mothers who were malignant, covert, spiritual narcissists. Many of our extended family members are either directly like them or have been severely affected by them, making it unsafe to have a relationship with any of them. As a result, we made the difficult decision to enforce strict boundaries to protect our family’s well-being.
Throughout all of this, I’ve leaned on my faith. Jesus Christ has been the source of healing and lasting peace in my life. It wasn’t an overnight transformation—it was a process. I had to get my mind and heart in the right place and make conscious decisions about how I spent my time and energy. Gradually, I found peace, not just as a temporary escape, but as something I could cultivate in my daily life. Over time, peace became my norm, and interruptions to that peace became the exception. When it was shaken, I learned how to restore it quickly, and I’ve been able to hold on to that peace more consistently.
The Events That Shaped My Path
The Events That Shaped My Path
my Story
my Story